3/07/2012

Dear Boys: Blast from the Past

My collection of ex-boyfriends is at a total of zero.
SOO 
I'm writing to my ex-crushes.
That counts right?

Dear Sailor,
Remember in sixth grade when I liked you?
Then I moved away.
Yesterday, I saw a picture of the recent you 
AND
you're a creep.
What was I thinking?
Disgustingly,
Elisabeth

Dear You,
Junior High dances are always awkward.
But you asked me to dance anyway.
Thanks.
Love,
Elisabeth
P.S. Do you still have your "I love mormon girls" shirt?

Dear Scotland,
I texted you for two days in a row.
Yeah.
That was awkward.
I'm sorry.
BUT
you turned out to be a jerk, so maybe I shouldn't apologize.
Dispassionately,
Elisabeth

Dear Valley,
If we got married,
we would be one heck of power couple.
Just sayin'.
So, feel free to e-mail me back.
Lovingly,
Elisabeth

Dear Junior High,
In seventh grade, you were so attractive.
Now you're a punk.
SOOO not attractive.
Heartlessly,
Elisabeth


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