8/14/2013

Let's Talk Dating

My mom has told me for a couple years now how I need to be more open-minded in dating.
And I always thought..."I go on dates! If a boy asks me, I will always say yes. Even if he is shorter than me, I'll go on a date with him". But does that mean that I'll actually give him a chance? Hardly...

Then I started reading a book called 31 Dates in 31 Days and I'll tell ya. There is SOO much more to being open-minded than I realized.



31 Dates in 31 Days is about a girl named Tamara who decided to change her dating life by going on (you guessed it!) 31 Dates in 31 Days. 

Talk about exhausting! By date #7, I was thinking..."I'm totally going to do this! 31 Dates in 31 Days Round 2?" 

Then I got to about #22, I thought..."I'm never doing this.." Mostly because of how open-minded she had to be. She went on dates where she didn't think the guy was attractive. She went on dates with bald guys, bearded guys, guys who loved zombies, and guys who had piercings.

And instead of scrutinizing them (when she totally could have) she decided to find something interesting and unique about EVERY SINGLE ONE of those guys because she wasn't interested in them just because she wanted a romantic connection. How freakin' awesome is that?!

One experience that made me stop and think was when she went on a date with a boy who was 21 years old. She was 31 at the time, so that's a big generation gap! But instead of being bothered by his age, she took that component of the date and threw it away. She decided that she could care less if he was younger than her. Similarly, height is a big deal for me. I am 5'10" so for me to feel less like a monster and more like a woman I always put a height requirement on boys. If they aren't at least 6'3", I automatically disregard them as dating material. I really need to get over that because you know what? I have met some amazing men who were a lot shorter than me. I could potentially miss out on the blessings I would gain from having someone fantastic in my life just because I put a height requirement on them. How sad is that?!

I've definitely been guilty of not giving a guys a chance because I immediately decided I wasn't going to be attracted to them and that's the lamest excuse for not liking someone.

If there is anything I learned from this book, it's definitely about being open-minded despite what someone looks like or how they act or if they're shorter than me.

So mom...I guess I'll start being more open-minded.

11 comments:

  1. I guess the good news is I'm 5'11''. Wink. Wink.

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  2. Understandable with the whole 5' 10" thing. I have the exact same problem. Though height isn't such a big deal to me. I would date someone my same height or taller.

    It's just so HARD. Especially if you aren't at first attracted to a boy who asks you out. Great post.

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  3. I'm 6' and chose to get over my height hang-ups a long time ago. By being open to dating anyone I've had some really fun dates. And the height discrepancy is not that big a deal. Tons of tall women marry shorter men.

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  4. Like you, my motto for dating is, say yes to the first date (unless he's uber creepy) and even the second or third, because on the first date everyone's on their best behavior (almost everyone), so you need to see what they're really like on the next ones.

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  5. that sounds really interesting!! I want to look into this book asap!

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  6. I love books that make you change perspective on things. And, I totally like guys significantly taller than me and once wrote a guy off immediately at the beginning of a blind date because he was only an inch taller than me. (What would I do with all my sunday shoes??) Funny story is, I ended up dating him and probably cared about him (and was totally attracted to him) more than any other guy I dated. It was a good lesson in being proven wrong!

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