First...read this quote by Taylor Swift (because even though her dancing is weird, she's actually pretty eloquent):
"I think we grow up thinking that the only love that counts as true love is the kind that lasts forever or is fully realized. When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is 'how long were you two together?' As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. I don't think that's how it works. I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It's just as crushing and just as thrilling. No matter what happens in this situation, I want you to remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you'll ever think you'll have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you'll find someone who loves you in that exact same way."
Second...this hit me so freaking hard because that's how I feel. Often times I believe I will never find somebody who I can love as much as I love that boy who wore an "I love Mormon Girls" shirt when he asked me to dance in eighth grade.
But the likelihood of anything happening is slim to none. And surprisingly, I'm totally okay with it.
I believe that because I've liked him for so long that it's a privilege more than anything else. I like him merely because he's an amazing person, not because he will love me back. It's an unrequited love that's been such a big part of me, but has taught me so many important lessons: like how important it is to be kind of everyone. And how essential it is to be so deeply good that no temptation can break your character.
That even when a 17 year old girl has a giant crush on you and you know she does, that you smile at her in the hall anyway. Because that's just the kind of person you should be. I admire him. That boy is incredibly inspirational to me and I will never forget how kindness seemed to ooze out of every part of him.
I want to believe I will end up with him, but I'm smart enough to understand that, that is not how life works.
And maybe I'm kind of crazy for liking this particular boy for so long and maybe it's even crazier for me to be posting this, but I just know that Heavenly Father knew I needed his example in my life to show me what a man should really be like.
And while he hasn't even given me a second thought, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I learn from him, that I take the lessons I couldn't have learned any other way and move on. I've got the world in my hands.
What have you learned from unrequited love?