my relationship doesn't look like yours and that's okay

I think it's easy as human beings to look at Instagram and see that beautiful couple and immediately ask "Why doesn't my relationship look like that?"

We pine and obsess and expect a certain level of something in our relationships. We expect our significant other to buy us flowers every day or write sappy social media captions every day. Since that's what our friend's significant other's do right?

I mean, Aladdin rode up on a freakin magic carpet right when Jasmine needed him and sang a beautiful song and they were instantly in love. LIKE WHAT. (They also both knew the lyrics to that song without rehearsing and frankly, I think that's kind of fishy.) 

All that aside, I've spent too much unnecessary time thinking about how my relationship with Wes compares to my friend's relationships because that's what you're taught right? You're taught in movies and society and media that you're supposed to follow some kind of guideline or your relationship isn't successful. It's "love at first sight" and "never go to bed angry." He didn't bring you flowers? Oh, well you should definitely break up with him. He didn't open your door? You should reconsider.

All of that is bull.

What is actually beautiful and wonderful about life is that you're creating a relationship just for you.  My relationship with Wes doesn't look like those Instagram couples because it isn't those Instagram couples. I'm a completely different person and Wes is a completely different person and we're bringing those differences together and creating a relationship from the ground up.

And guess what? That's exactly what you're supposed to do! Creating your own relationship is actually a really beautiful part of life and it's not supposed to look like anyone else's because it's perfect for you. I'm still learning that how Wes and I do life is not how my friends do life, which in turn, doesn't mean we're doing it wrong or that they're doing it wrong either.

We're doing what works for us.

Adulting is sooooo messy--there's money and families and disagreements and scheduling and work. Why would I make my life harder by conforming to what everyone else says is a "successful" relationship?

I get to decide what the guideline for successful is in my relationship and I'm still figuring that out. In the meantime...let's not judge. Let's be kind. Don't give unsolicited relationship advice.  Let people live how they want to live.  We don't need to conform to any kind of "success." We need to let people create their personal definition of success and we should be cheering them on.  


not your typical fashion post

I wanted to write this really deep post about love, but guess what? I'm STRUGGLINGGGGG. Mostly because I want it to be just right, SO for now, you get a post about my killer outfit on Monday and some thoughts I've had over the past couple of weeks. 

-My jean jacket is my pride and joy and I wear it wherever possible.

-I totally took this in my bathroom. #NoShame

-I've been thinking about taking up video since social media is basically ALL video now. 

-Car shopping is 100 percent the worst. 

-Long-distance relationships are hard and I miss Wes like crazy.

-I have INCREDIBLE friends. Ahhhh! My heart swells when I think about them because they're so wonderful. 

-The Great British Baking Show. Let's talk about it. The voices are so soothing and everyone on the show is just so nice. Wes just rolls his eyes at me when I talk about it because I'm legitmately OBSESSED. #NewFavoriteShow

-Pretty sure my mom is the actual Wonder Woman. Sorry, Gal Gadot. [Although she was amazing and you should definitely go see the movie.]


that time I went to therapy and it was SO GOOD

I've known since July of last year that I needed some help.

I struggle with a little thing called self-hate. {Oh, Self Hate, you're a wench.} She cuddles up next to me when I'm about to fall asleep and asks me constantly, "Are you awake?" Girl, you need to get a life.

When my wonderful bishop mentioned that I should start therapy, I was apprehensive. All I could think was "People like me don't go to therapy..." 

I walked through the door of this tiny office and expected Miss Trunchbull to throw me in the chokey. Instead my sweet, pregnant, wonderful therapist Loni gave me a hug, told me I was beautiful, and let me cry my eyes out because life is hard when you are called fat by a mean, mean boy.


Two of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten about mental health happen to be from my mom and dad. Shocker, I know. My parents are basically angelic beings filled with cotton candy and m&m's at all times.

1. My dad told me: "Mental health is just like any physical ailment. If you break your bone, you go to the doctor. If your brain is broken, you go to the doctor for that too." 

The stigma attached to mental health is incorrect. In fact, everyone goes to a doctor at least once in their life. Why is mental health any different? The output is exactly the same--you just want to feel better. 

2. One of my favorite things that has ever come out of my mom's mouth is this: "I can't tell you how many times I've heard well, if you just pray hard enough everything will work out. Ummm NO, that's not how life works."

The reason I love this is because she's right (and because my mom gets sassy when she's passionate about something and it's entertaining). Of course, praying and reading your scriptures and going to church are all important things and you should definitely keep doing them. What my mom means is, relying solely on God to fix everything for you defeats the purpose of agency. We must do everything we can to help ourselves and God will make up the difference. 

I'm grateful every day for a wonderful bishop who knew me and got me the help I so desperately needed. And PLEASE, if you're struggling with self-hate, let's chat. I know that woman like I know my way around a Chickfila and that's pretty darn good. 


what i didn't expect when i lost 20 pounds

I've lost 20 pounds. Ahhhhhhhhh! I know! I just completed everybody's New Year's resolution.

I didn't really think I'd do it and I can't believe I did and it's awesome and crazy and wonderful and hard all at the same time.
Here's the deal though...it's not what society cooks it up to be. My life is not magically better or easier.

Working out is still hard.
Seriously. It's hard. I'm not naturally great at working out. I still lay on my bed dreading going on a 5 mile run and don't talk to me about push ups because I can't do them. I hate ab day and I get burned out with the same workout super fast. It's a daily battle, but I do it! I've learned that being active counts, no matter if it's just a walk around your neighborhood.

Eating healthy is overrated sometimes.
I swear if I have to eat one more carrot, I might puke. But I do really love eggs and avocados and peanut butter and bananas and those coconut, chocolate covered almonds at Costco and chocolate cake. So I guess as long as I'm a B+ eater, I'll be just fine. 

I still don't love my body. 
My entire life I've thought "Man, if I could lose 20 pounds, I would be so much happier."

JOKES ON ME because guess what? I don't love my body all the time. I still get frustrated with how clothes fit. I still feel fat and bloated some days. I'm not miraculously happier all the time and I certainly nit pick the things I don't like.

I don't magically get dates.
I always thought that if I looked a certain way, boys would ask me out. BAHAHA! Not true. Although...I have caught a couple guys in my ward checking me out so I'm not mad about that.

All the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff though cause....
Good golly gee, I'm SO confident!
I really am! I actually like wearing a swimsuit! I DO look in the mirror and see a difference and it's honestly incredible!

My body is not the same as yours. 
If there's anything I've learned though, it's this: everyone's body is different. When I started losing weight I thought I wanted to lose about 50 pounds. After losing what I have though, my collarbones started poking out and my ribs started pushing through my skin and I thought to myself..."Elisabeth. Are you living a healthy lifestyle?" "Yes." "Then you a'ight."

I'm not made to be tiny and THAT'S OKAY! I'm 5'10". Of COURSE my body isn't made to be 150 pounds. If yours is, THAT'S WONDERFUL! We are ALL beautiful just the way we are.

EVERYONE struggles with their body image [even the skinny girls!], but I say this: You get to choose to be happy with your body. Losing weight doesn't make you love your body. It just doesn't. You're the one who gets to decide how you feel about yourself. And in my opinion, that's pretty darn stellar.

If you want to be my running buddy, hit me upppppp!


you don't get to decide for me

I'd be lying if I didn't say I've had it rough for the last little while. It's been a long year of trials and hardships. A lot because of my own doing, but also by circumstances I wasn't able to control. 

However, I finally figured out something that's catastrophically altered my life. 


I get to decide that I'm beautiful and funny and intelligent and sexy. 
I get to decide that I'm wonderful and caring and empathetic and compassionate.

Cause guess what? I am all those things and so much more

My life shouldn't revolve around what that really cool kid on Twitter thinks about my tweets or what that girl thinks about my outfit. It shouldn't revolve around my ex-boyfriends or my roommates or my parents. 

If you think I'm fat, guess what? You don't get to decide that. I'm the only one in the entire world who gets to decide that I'm gorgeous just the way I am. Thank you very much. 

Isn't that so incredibly freeing?! No more wondering if my ward crush thinks I'm adorable or how I'm going to get that guy to like me. I'm not about that life.

I've started celebrating all the truly lovely things about me.
I'm celebrating the fact that I'm an amazing daughter of God who's potential spans farther than getting married or having the perfect job. I'm celebrating the immense love I have for my friends and my family. I'm celebrating my love for national parks and running. 

I'm celebrating who I really am, what I truly love doing, and what makes ME happy.

And if any of you know me, you know I love celebrating. (Birthdays are my very favorite holiday.)

So welcome to the world happy, confident Elisabeth. You're a pretty rad girl to have around.