6/09/2017

not your typical fashion post




I wanted to write this really deep post about love, but guess what? I'm STRUGGLINGGGGG. Mostly because I want it to be just right, SO for now, you get a post about my killer outfit on Monday and some thoughts I've had over the past couple of weeks. 

-My jean jacket is my pride and joy and I wear it wherever possible.

-I totally took this in my bathroom. #NoShame

-I've been thinking about taking up video since social media is basically ALL video now. 

-Car shopping is 100 percent the worst. 

-Long-distance relationships are hard and I miss Wes like crazy.

-I have INCREDIBLE friends. Ahhhh! My heart swells when I think about them because they're so wonderful. 

-The Great British Baking Show. Let's talk about it. The voices are so soothing and everyone on the show is just so nice. Wes just rolls his eyes at me when I talk about it because I'm legitmately OBSESSED. #NewFavoriteShow

-Pretty sure my mom is the actual Wonder Woman. Sorry, Gal Gadot. [Although she was amazing and you should definitely go see the movie.]

4/26/2017

that time I went to therapy and it was SO GOOD


I've known since July of last year that I needed some help.

I struggle with a little thing called self-hate. {Oh, Self Hate, you're a wench.} She cuddles up next to me when I'm about to fall asleep and asks me constantly, "Are you awake?" Girl, you need to get a life.

When my wonderful bishop mentioned that I should start therapy, I was apprehensive. All I could think was "People like me don't go to therapy..." 

I walked through the door of this tiny office and expected Miss Trunchbull to throw me in the chokey. Instead my sweet, pregnant, wonderful therapist Loni gave me a hug, told me I was beautiful, and let me cry my eyes out because life is hard when you are called fat by a mean, mean boy.

Here's the thing though...THERAPY IS AMAZING. THERAPY WORKS. AND MENTAL HEALTH IS SO IMPORTANT. 

Two of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten about mental health happen to be from my mom and dad. Shocker, I know. My parents are basically angelic beings filled with cotton candy and m&m's at all times.

1. My dad told me: "Mental health is just like any physical ailment. If you break your bone, you go to the doctor. If your brain is broken, you go to the doctor for that too." 

The stigma attached to mental health is incorrect. In fact, everyone goes to a doctor at least once in their life. Why is mental health any different? The output is exactly the same--you just want to feel better. 

2. One of my favorite things that has ever come out of my mom's mouth is this: "I can't tell you how many times I've heard well, if you just pray hard enough everything will work out. Ummm NO, that's not how life works."

The reason I love this is because she's right (and because my mom gets sassy when she's passionate about something and it's entertaining). Of course, praying and reading your scriptures and going to church are all important things and you should definitely keep doing them. What my mom means is, relying solely on God to fix everything for you defeats the purpose of agency. We must do everything we can to help ourselves and God will make up the difference. 

I'm grateful every day for a wonderful bishop who knew me and got me the help I so desperately needed. And PLEASE, if you're struggling with self-hate, let's chat. I know that woman like I know my way around a Chickfila and that's pretty darn good. 




9/20/2016

what i didn't expect when i lost 20 pounds

I've lost 20 pounds. Ahhhhhhhhh! I know! I just completed everybody's New Year's resolution.


I didn't really think I'd do it and I can't believe I did and it's awesome and crazy and wonderful and hard all at the same time.
Here's the deal though...it's not what society cooks it up to be. My life is not magically better or easier.

Working out is still hard.
Seriously. It's hard. I'm not naturally great at working out. I still lay on my bed dreading going on a 5 mile run and don't talk to me about push ups because I can't do them. I hate ab day and I get burned out with the same workout super fast. It's a daily battle, but I do it! I've learned that being active counts, no matter if it's just a walk around your neighborhood.

Eating healthy is overrated sometimes.
I swear if I have to eat one more carrot, I might puke. But I do really love eggs and avocados and peanut butter and bananas and those coconut, chocolate covered almonds at Costco and chocolate cake. So I guess as long as I'm a B+ eater, I'll be just fine. 

I still don't love my body. 
My entire life I've thought "Man, if I could lose 20 pounds, I would be so much happier."

JOKES ON ME because guess what? I don't love my body all the time. I still get frustrated with how clothes fit. I still feel fat and bloated some days. I'm not miraculously happier all the time and I certainly nit pick the things I don't like.

I don't magically get dates.
I always thought that if I looked a certain way, boys would ask me out. BAHAHA! Not true. Although...I have caught a couple guys in my ward checking me out so I'm not mad about that.



All the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff though cause....
Good golly gee, I'm SO confident!
I really am! I actually like wearing a swimsuit! I DO look in the mirror and see a difference and it's honestly incredible!

My body is not the same as yours. 
If there's anything I've learned though, it's this: everyone's body is different. When I started losing weight I thought I wanted to lose about 50 pounds. After losing what I have though, my collarbones started poking out and my ribs started pushing through my skin and I thought to myself..."Elisabeth. Are you living a healthy lifestyle?" "Yes." "Then you a'ight."

I'm not made to be tiny and THAT'S OKAY! I'm 5'10". Of COURSE my body isn't made to be 150 pounds. If yours is, THAT'S WONDERFUL! We are ALL beautiful just the way we are.

EVERYONE struggles with their body image [even the skinny girls!], but I say this: You get to choose to be happy with your body. Losing weight doesn't make you love your body. It just doesn't. You're the one who gets to decide how you feel about yourself. And in my opinion, that's pretty darn stellar.

If you want to be my running buddy, hit me upppppp!

6/05/2016

you don't get to decide for me

I'd be lying if I didn't say I've had it rough for the last little while. It's been a long year of trials and hardships. A lot because of my own doing, but also by circumstances I wasn't able to control. 

However, I finally figured out something that's catastrophically altered my life. 



I GET TO DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF.

I get to decide that I'm beautiful and funny and intelligent and sexy. 
I get to decide that I'm wonderful and caring and empathetic and compassionate.

Cause guess what? I am all those things and so much more

My life shouldn't revolve around what that really cool kid on Twitter thinks about my tweets or what that girl thinks about my outfit. It shouldn't revolve around my ex-boyfriends or my roommates or my parents. 

If you think I'm fat, guess what? You don't get to decide that. I'm the only one in the entire world who gets to decide that I'm gorgeous just the way I am. Thank you very much. 

Isn't that so incredibly freeing?! No more wondering if my ward crush thinks I'm adorable or how I'm going to get that guy to like me. I'm not about that life.

I've started celebrating all the truly lovely things about me.
I'm celebrating the fact that I'm an amazing daughter of God who's potential spans farther than getting married or having the perfect job. I'm celebrating the immense love I have for my friends and my family. I'm celebrating my love for national parks and running. 

I'm celebrating who I really am, what I truly love doing, and what makes ME happy.

And if any of you know me, you know I love celebrating. (Birthdays are my very favorite holiday.)

So welcome to the world happy, confident Elisabeth. You're a pretty rad girl to have around. 


5/18/2016

for marisa

Oh hey there Maris,

I'm kind of the worst friend ever because I really suck at getting you presents. 



So, this is my present because I've always been better at words then I've ever been at gift giving. 

You came out of the temple on Saturday and I don't think I've ever seen you more happy. It made ME happy to see YOU so happy. It really did. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. 

I know God knew I needed you in my life. We didn't always hit it off, but after that first semester of living together, it just clicked. 

You were there through my terrible Josh phase, through my last year of school, through my over reactions and my foolishness. You've seen me bawl my eyes out and you've made me laugh harder than anyone else. 

We bonded over food and documentaries. We made s'mores and laid in your hammock and talked about books we read. We always seemed to find ourselves at USU gymnastics meets when Amy and Christy were gone. We went to Moab and camped and hiked and ate lunch on top of a rock.

Except, I think what really did me in was our walks. More than anything, I cherish the time we walked and talked. We always seemed to talk about the gospel and how much we loved it. I think that was my favorite...talking about the gospel with you. 

Maris, your example has forever changed my life. I've always wanted to be just like you. Always. You've helped me become a better person. You know about my mistakes and you've loved me through it all. I will forever be grateful to you for that. So here's to new memories! 

I love you to the moon and back and then some.