that time I went to therapy and it was SO GOOD

I've known since July of last year that I needed some help.

I struggle with a little thing called self-hate. {Oh, Self Hate, you're a wench.} She cuddles up next to me when I'm about to fall asleep and asks me constantly, "Are you awake?" Girl, you need to get a life.

When my wonderful bishop mentioned that I should start therapy, I was apprehensive. All I could think was "People like me don't go to therapy..." 

I walked through the door of this tiny office and expected Miss Trunchbull to throw me in the chokey. Instead my sweet, pregnant, wonderful therapist Loni gave me a hug, told me I was beautiful, and let me cry my eyes out because life is hard when you are called fat by a mean, mean boy.


Two of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten about mental health happen to be from my mom and dad. Shocker, I know. My parents are basically angelic beings filled with cotton candy and m&m's at all times.

1. My dad told me: "Mental health is just like any physical ailment. If you break your bone, you go to the doctor. If your brain is broken, you go to the doctor for that too." 

The stigma attached to mental health is incorrect. In fact, everyone goes to a doctor at least once in their life. Why is mental health any different? The output is exactly the same--you just want to feel better. 

2. One of my favorite things that has ever come out of my mom's mouth is this: "I can't tell you how many times I've heard well, if you just pray hard enough everything will work out. Ummm NO, that's not how life works."

The reason I love this is because she's right (and because my mom gets sassy when she's passionate about something and it's entertaining). Of course, praying and reading your scriptures and going to church are all important things and you should definitely keep doing them. What my mom means is, relying solely on God to fix everything for you defeats the purpose of agency. We must do everything we can to help ourselves and God will make up the difference. 

I'm grateful every day for a wonderful bishop who knew me and got me the help I so desperately needed. And PLEASE, if you're struggling with self-hate, let's chat. I know that woman like I know my way around a Chickfila and that's pretty darn good. 


  1. Love this post. My company has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that is free for basic counseling. If you need more, they can refer you to someone. What a great "gateway" to improving mental health. And an annual check-in (or two) are easy and available! I'm grateful to say our company has a high usage and I hope that continues to climb as we realize the value of professional support. I'm so glad this has gone well for you! <3

  2. I loved this post! Thank you for sharing!!

  3. Love this! I totally agree. Therapy has helped me through some really hard things and seriously everyone could benefit from a little therapy. :)

  4. Yep yep yep!! I agree <3 Our brains need some fixiing sometimes too. I'm so glad people are starting to talk more about this.