i have worth

a lot times i don't think i have worth.  why? because I'm not a size 2. In fact, I'm a size 16-18. i try to shop the sales racks, but instead of extra large's there are extra small's i go running ALL THE TIME, but it doesn't seem to help i watch as girls who are sticks shove as many cookies into their mouth as they want and nothing happens i'm terrified to eventually have kids because i know i'll balloon up and never be able to lose the weight

to be honest, most of the time its not so bad. especially if i'm wearing something that makes me feel BOMB but it's a trial and something that i struggle with on a daily basis. i have to look at myself in the mirror EVERY DAY and say to myself "it doesn't matter how much you weigh, no one notices but you! You can go rock those patterned leggings..." (if i happen to be wearing patterned leggings that day...) 
a lot of my life has consisted of me being terrified that boys won't like me because i'm not skinny. when i was about sixteen, i heard somewhere that boys only liked girls if they were skinny and ever since i have had this horrid ideology that i am not worth being loved. for a long time, i have kept my distance from boys because i'm scared that they will somehow be disappointed by what they see. a lot of this comes from me. no one has ever told me that i'm not worth being loved it's just a stigma i've attached to myself but it's still hard to deal with.
however, i decided this summer that i am going to change that. i am sick of feeling like i'm not worth it. my solution to this problem? pick a boy that i would want to date.  a boy that i would never ever think in a million years would ever like me. then act like there is NOTHING that he doesn't like about me. be myself. have fun around him. don't worry about my weight or how that is affecting his decision to like me. if he's even thinking that at all!! remember that i'm worth everybody and anybody's attention. get over the fact that i'm a size 18 and remember what is really great about myself: like the fact that i can talk to anyone and i have really great legs and i strive to be a kind as i can to everyone and i have a solid testimony of jesus christ...ya know, stuff like that.
these kinds of good qualities about me are what's going to make me feel "worthy" of any kind of love. romantic-wise or friendship-wise. my stake president a couple years back said this once: "you can't convert somebody beyond your own conversion" i would venture to say that "you can't love somebody unless you love yourself" so, gosh darn it! I'm going to love myself!!


Yours Charmingly giveaway winner ASHLEY ALLEN!!! Email me back cute girl and I'll get you your necklace!