Old People Can Say Whatever They Want

Preface: I work at a theater in Logan called The Lyric Theater. I house manage and ticket manage there, which basically means I help with problems such as seating, lost & found items, and making sure we start the show on time. I love it!

The audience at the theater I work at mostly contains people over the age of 70.

So over the summer I have gotten some pretty fabulous comments:

Lady: "Do you have extensions in your hair?"
Me: "Nope. It's all real!"
Lady: "Oh! I thought you were trying to hide some with that giant headband of yours"
I think that was a compliment?

Old man: *looks down at my hands* "Do you bite your nails?"
Me: *hanging head in shame* "Yes"
Old man: "I can tell."
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

But yesterday took the cake...

A tall, slender man approached me at the box office and asked me questions about ticketing that you wouldn't understand so I'll spare you but after our conversation, he looked at me and asked in the kindest way possible...
"Where are you from?"
I answered with a hearty reply "I'm from a little town in Idaho called Sugar City."
His eyes crinkled at the corners and he replied in a slightly flirty tone (Or at least if he wasn't 80 years old, it would totally be considered flirting): "Ohhhh. Only the sweetest girls come from Sugar City."
I laughed and told him I couldn't disagree.
Then he asked as he glanced at my left hand "Are you hitched yet?"
Me: "No, sir. I'm definitely single."
Him: "Well are you working on it? You are one pretty girl."
Me (slightly confused): "Well thanks. Yeah, I guess I'm working on it."
Him: "You make sure you marry a good returned missionary."
Me (laughing): "Oh I will!"

At that moment one of the cute apprentices named Emma came out to stand at the will call box (Apprentices are high school students who help with the workings of the theater. They are wonderful!)

The man turns around and asks Emma: "Are you from Sugar City too?"
She replied "No, I'm from Logan."
Old man: "Oh. I've heard you don't want to go on a date with a girl from Logan."
Emma: "Oh why is that?"
Old man: "Well, their mascot is grizzlies ya know so those girls will claw your eyes out!"
Emma just politely laughs while also looks really confused.

The old man then pointed out to Emma..."Oh! You've got freckles! You know what that means?"
Emma shook her head.
Old man: "It means you were extremely faithful in the pre-existence!"

Emma isn't Mormon and just nodded because I'm sure she had no idea what that even meant.
The old man proceeded to give her a play by play of how she was going to meet the man of her dreams and that she was supposed to marry a returned missionary.

Afterwards, Emma came and talked to me and told me that she was just super confused.

I couldn't stop laughing the whole time this was happening. It was by far the funniest, greatest, most hilarious moment of my life.

When I'm old, I'm totally going to go around and say whatever I want!


  1. Oh man, that's the best story ever! I had to read it to my husband!!!! You should keep track of Emma and see if she doesn't marry an RM, that would be really ironic!

  2. Hahaha! That's hilarious!!
    I used to do basically what you do in a theatre back in NZ and I loved it!
    Never had a story this awesome though! :)

  3. Aw how adorable! But you're right, if a guy 60 or even 50 years his junior said any of those things, it'd def be flirting. But from a guy like that, it's just cute, hehe :). I agree w/Amberly--definitely don't lose touch w/Emma b/c it'd be hilarious if whatever he said turned out to be true.

    Happy you love your job!!

  4. Baha!! Old people are my favorite!! :)